What I do with my free/spare time mainly depends on how much energy I have managed to save up during the day. It is a lot easier at the moment while I'm staying with my parents, as there as so many people around most of the time, that my chores are cut into half or cut out all together. And even if I do do something then just because I do it with someone else, it feels like it's easier...you get me? Oscars play needs are taken care by my 9 year old brother and his numerous friends who come over after school pretty much every day and there I am with just a bit more time to myself.
What do I do with my time? OK, like I said in my last post I kind of do nothing productive :D But I have found that I have my greatest ideas before I go to sleep. And sometimes between going to bed and falling asleep there is a good few hours of thinking time. Between my slight ocd and borderline bipolar personality that is sometimes overtaken by obsessive tendencies I just find that most of the time I am thinking about what to do. I think so much I'm so surprised I haven't come up with an original idea of what to do. It;s probably because I never write anything down the moment it hits me. And by the time I think about it again, the idea has changed or my mind has changed....it's all very tricky.
I've always known I am creative. Even though I was quite good at math and all the other subjects for that matter I never wanted to become someone realistic? logical? I cant find a word here. I might come up with one later during this post. The fact is I am most happy when I'm creating something or being creative. Weather its painting, writing, sewing, dancing....I guess I just need to find something that will make me use my creativity every day. And it will make me happy....as long as it will also make me a living :D But I also know that just being creative is not enough. I need an IDEA. An Idea that maybe someone has never come up with? Maybe someone has tried, but never really managed to pull off. But where to get that idea? How do people come up with brilliant ideas? weed?? Only joking :D
Different people get inspired by different things. I get inspired by original and talented people. But there is a fine line between getting inspired by those people and actually copying them...The last thing I want to become is someone else.
I want to become someone who works for herself or someone I look up to and find incredibly amazing. And I would love to be that person who wakes up and does somethingfor a living they enjoy and love. Rather than do something just for the sake of paying the bills. But I like the idea that I am the BOSS. And because I show/have no/or little emotions, which kind of either turns me or consequently makes me into a massive bitch at times I think I could get things done.
The stupid computer is just driving me completely insane at the moment. Leaving me no other option to just end this post now before I loose my fucking shit :) Also this post, reading back on it, kind of just feels like a massive rant about nothing really :D SO I will go and sleep and collect my sometimes completely idiotic thought and come back again soon....hopefully.
I mean if I'm not someone...it's a quitter...
xoxo
Meril
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